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Grasping Your Gratitude During Infertility

Colorful Jars

At RMA Long Island IVF, we see our patients being too hard on themselves—understandably frustrated by the lack of control over their infertility and the endless waiting for the baby that seems to come so easily to everyone else. This is particularly noticeable in January when people set resolutions and goals for the year ahead and try to shake off lingering sadness.

While their fertile friends share posts reflecting the joys of parenthood, those with fertility challenges may come up short when trying to think of things to be grateful for. It’s not that good things didn’t happen, it’s just that the ever-present reality of infertility is isolating and often steals the joy from life. It sometimes blinds us from noticing, appreciating, remembering, and being grateful for the good things in our life. And the longer the infertility journey, the harder it may be to find the gratitude that’s buried within us.

Enter the gratitude jar.

You may have heard of this project. It is perfect for those struggling with infertility.

First, you take a mason jar like the ones people use to make homemade pickles and jams--or any jar or keepsake box will do. Then throughout the year, you fill it with little notes of things you have to be grateful for as they happen. Capture those good times in the moment-- before the happy memories get swallowed by the day-to-day focus on your infertility journey. At the end of the year-- or even during the year if your spirits need a boost--pour those memories out on the table as a gift to yourself.

Infertility could be the hardest thing you’ll ever go through. And while advancements in Assisted Reproductive Technologies, like in-vitro fertilization (“IVF”), can bring a fast resolution in many cases, sometimes it takes a bit longer than you expected. That’s often when finding gratitude becomes elusive.

So, grab the jar. Make the memories. Write the notes. And promise to read them on New Year’s Eve. No matter where you are at the end of the year, the notes will help you steal the happiness back and realize there is always something to be grateful for.